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There is something … preoccupation, a sensation, an emotion …
There’s a fixation that keeps you up all night, that makes you talk negatively to yourself and that makes you feel like you’re going certifiably insane.
You downplay it. You tell yourself that you’re just a perfectionist or joke to friends that you’re a worrywart.
That’s flat out untrue. You aren’t a perfectionist or a worrywart… You just have fear.
Those feelings – the apprehension, the uneasiness – have a purpose. Those feeling are there to tell you that a fear exists in you.
It’s up to you to face your fear.
How ????? Firstly, we’ll understand how to identify the fear, beat it at its own game of tricks and begin to feel free from the feeling.
See, fear is a trickster : it doesn’t like to be noticed and it certainly doesn’t want you to identify the feeling. Because, psychology tells us that if your fear can be named, it can be stopped.
Let’s learn more about fear.
Fear wants you to take all the blame: you’re the one that doesn’t have self-control to just stop worrying. You’re the one that can’t chill. You’re the one who can’t get her perfectionism in check. You’re the one who can’t make a decision.
Fear likes to keep you feeling that it’s all your fault, as it hums along in the background controlling your decisions, opinions and addictions through the fear-controlling part of your brain called the amygdala.
The amygdala doesn’t care what challenges you’ve overcome in the past, what your background is or what your motivations are. The amygdala just wants to stop you from doing something your brain perceives as irrational.
If I asked you “So… what are you afraid of ?”, what would you answer ?
- Phobias : “I’m afraid of the creepy crawlies/the doctor’s office/heights/ my mother-in-law’s surprise visits/etc.”
While this is the most common answer, the fact is that most phobias aren’t the fears that run and ruin your life because they don’t impact you every day. There is a worse fear — the fear that kills more relationships, more careers, more family connections, more businesses, more love than any one phobia. Keep reading…
- Denial : “Who, me ? I’m not afraid of anything.”
Who are you kidding ? Fear is an inherent part of your biology — if you’re a human, that is. To wholly eradicate it from your life means you have had a lobotomy or are part robot. If you don’t feel fear right this moment, be aware that it will eventually surface – and I can tell you, it won’t be pretty.
- Emotional Fears : “I’m afraid of rejection/failure/feeling stupid.”
Emotional fears make you feel that you’re not good enough, not smart enough or simply not enough of anything. Emotional fears even bring with them physical symptoms like stomach sickness or headache.
Can you see how these fears are all perceived by your brain ? How do you think that affects the way that you go about your day ?
The good news is : you can change the perception.
This is where the top 10 tricks of fear come in.
Fear uses tricks of fear to keep you focused on your current symptoms like, “I must quit worrying” or “Why can’t I kick myself into gear?” or the other ways to prove that YOU are the problem. That is a lie.
The Top Ten Tricks of FEAR teach you all about how fear hides itself from view. Once you know how it hides itself, you can get out of its clutches.
- complain
- worry
- blame
- control
- settle
- compare
- isolate
- compromise
- procrastinate
- guilt
How many did you check off? Do you see how these 10 words cover up fear ?
Worry, blame, complaining and settling are all responses to fear. If you know how to face your fears head-on, the right way, these feelings won’t exist.
If you don’t tap dance around your emotions and you identify your fears, these feelings won’t exist.
If you don’t acknowledge that fear itself is what is holding you back, you won’t unleash your true self to the world.
Remember, being fearless isn’t about jumping out of a plane, it’s about jumping into your life. Fully. Completely. As You! The real, true, authentic, heart-loving, soon-to-be fearless you.
THE JOKES CORNER
THE BOOKS CORNER
Fear is destructive, a pervasive problem we all face. Vietnamese Buddhist Zen Master, poet, scholar, peace activist, and one of the foremost spiritual leaders in the world—a gifted teacher who was once nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Martin Luther King Jr.—Thich Nhat Hanh has written a powerful and practical strategic guide to overcoming our debilitating uncertainties and personal terrors.If you have fears about the past or the future, this book is for you. Read this book and feel a sense of calmness
Maybe you avoid situations where you might be rejected. You don’t apply for that dream job. You don’t ask for that pay rise. You don’t ask that person on a date. But it doesn’t have to be that way – the only thing standing between you and your goals … is you. Jia Jiang who had allowed his fear of rejection to rule his life, decided to take radical action: he quit his job and spent 100 days deliberately seeking out scenarios where he would likely be rejected. If you want to overcome your fear, read this book.